LOVE FOR SALE

Well I woke up this morning I rolled out of bed I felt like a dog who's been Kicked in the head Checked out my mail There was letter that read Love for sale, love for sale I picked up the phone I called everyone I could I let my fingers do the walking Through the telephone book You can't catch a fish If you ain't got the hook Love for sale, love for sale Send up a signal Throw me a line Somebody explain “this funny valentine” It might not be legal But it sure ain't a crime I'm one step from crazy and two steps behind I called Lt.Columbo from my TV set I've tried the Dating Game I haven't found her yet I'm hoping that she's looking like a Penthouse Love for sale, love for sale We've been living together 3 years, 2 hours, 20 minutes Maybe four hundred beers You can't shop for love when You're shopping at Sears Love for sale, love for sale I guess I've learnt my lesson It was easy to see My old lady she played this joke on me I never looked where I forgot it would be Love for sale, love for sale Love for sale, love for sale Love for sale, love for sale Love for sale, love for sale...