The Humpty Dance

All right! Stop whatcha doin' 'cause I'm about to ruin the image and the style that ya used to. I look funny, but yo I'm makin' money, see so yo world I hope you're ready for me. Now gather round I'm the new fool in town and my sound's laid down by the Underground. I drink up all the Hennessey ya got on ya shelf so just let me introduce myself My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty. Yo ladies, oh how I like to hump thee. And all the rappers in the top ten-- please allow me to bump thee. I'm steppin' tall, y'all, and just like Humpty Dumpty you're gonna fall when the stereos pump me. I like to rhyme, I like my beats funky, I'm spunky. I like my oatmeal lumpy. I'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack but sometimes I get ridiculous I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice hey yo fat girl, c'mere-- are ya ticklish? Yeah, I called ya fat. Look at me, I'm skinny It never stopped me from gettin' busy I'm a freak I like the girls with the boom I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom I'm crazy. Allow me to amaze thee. They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me. I'm still gettin' in the girl's pants and I even got my own dance The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump Do the Humpty Hump, (come on and) do the Humpty Hump Do the Humpty Hump, (just watch me) do the Humpty Hump Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump People say“Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'” that's all right 'cause I get things cookin' Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me but ya can't get near me I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, B, all the girls they adore me Oh yes, ladies, I'm really bein' sincere 'cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear. My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed Big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge, both how I'm livin' and my nose is large I get stoopid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid, I use a word that don't mean nothin', like looptid I sang on Doowhutchalike, and if ya missed it, I'm the one who said just grab 'em in the biscuits Also told ya that I like to bite Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to write. All ya had to do was give Humpty a chance and now I'm gonna do my dance. The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump Do the Humpty Hump, (come on and) do the Humpty Hump Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump Do the Humpty Hump, (just watch me) do the Humpty Hump Oh, yeah, that's the break, y'all Let me hear a little bit of that bass groove right here Oh, yeah! Now that I told ya a little bit about myself let me tell ya a little bit about this dance It's real easy to do-- check it out First I limp to the side like my leg was broken Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was smokin' Crazy wack funky People say ya look like M.C.Hammer on crack, Humpty That's all right 'cause my body's in motion It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion Anyone can play this game This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name No two people will do it the same Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain Humpin', funkin', jumpin', jig around, shakin' ya rump, and when the dude a chump pump points a finger like a stump tell him step off, I'm doin' the Hump. The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump Do the Humpty Hump, (come on and) do the Humpty Hump Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump (Black people,) do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump (White people,) do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump (Puerto Ricans,) do the Humpty Hump, (just keep on...) do the Humpty Hump (Samoans,) do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump Let's get stoopid! Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump Oh, yeah, come on and break it down Once again, the Underground is in the house I'd like to send a shout out to the whole world, keep on doin' the Humpty Dance, and to the ladies, peace and humptiness forever