bizarre christmas incident

Ho ho ho Yuh Hey grandpa Yeah play it Let's tell 'em a little story about what happened this Christmas Yeah tell 'em Tell 'em 'bout Christmas Christmas eve I didn't get much sleep I kept hearin' things Heavy breathin' from the chimney Who could it be That's what it was What happened then man Yeah what happened I went back to sleep Back to sleep Shit Told you I went back to sleep Get out of here And in the morning I couldn't believe my eye A whale of a corpse With a long white beard Was danglin' over the fire Santa he's so thick That fuck Went down the chimney 'n' got his fat ass stuck Whoa honey call the lawyers fast 'Cos Mrs Claus is gonna sue my ass Hey hey hey Hey yeah oh oh whoa OK grandpa step up You're singin' this thing right here Tel 'em what you saw Tell 'em what you saw grandpa I got tell you folks He wasn't wearin' no clothes He must have rubbed a whole gallon of Crisco From his back adown ato his toes While I was talkin' to the cops outside The dog was licking Crisco off of his thighs They hauled him away in a double wide What a sad sad way to die Hey hey hey The evil big fat fuck Went down the chimney got his fat ass stuck Oh honey call the lawyers fast Mrs Claus is gonna sue our ass