I WANNA BE A PRODUCER

UNHAPPY... UNHAPPY... VERY UNHAPPY. UNHAPPY... UNHAPPY... VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY UNHAPPY... OH, I DEBITS ALL DUH MORNIN', AN' I CREDITS ALL DUH EB'NIN' UNTIL DEM LEDGERS RIGHTTTT... UNTIL DEM LEDGERS RIGHTTTT! I SPEND MY LIFE ACCOUNTING. WITH FIGURES AND SUCH. UNHAPPY. TO WHAT IS MY LIFE AMOUNTING, IT FIGURES. NOT MUCH. UNHAPPY. I HAVE A SECRET DESIRE HIDING DEEP IN MY SOUL, IT SETS MY HEART AFIRE TO SEE ME IN THIS ROLE... I WANNA BE A PRODUCER WITH A HIT SHOW ON BROADWAY. I WANNA BE A PRODUCER, LUNCH AT SARDI'S EVERY DAY. I WANNA BE A PRODUCER, SPORT A TOP HAT AND A CANE. I WANNA BE A PRODUCER AND DRIVE THOSE CHORUS GIRLS INSANE! I WANNA BE A PRODUCER AND SLEEP UNTIL HALF-PAST TWO. I WANNA BE A PRODUCER AND SAY, “YOU, YOU, YOU, NOT YOU.” I WANNA BE A PRODUCER, WEAR A TUX ON OP'NING NIGHTS! I WANNA BE A PRODUCER AND SEE MY NAME “LEO BLOOM” IN LIGHTS! HE WANTS TO BE A PRODUCER Sell it, girls! OF A GREAT BIG BROADWAY SMASH! Don't forget the balcony! HE WANTS TO BE A PRODUCER, EV'RY POCKET STUFFED WITH CASH! HE WANTS TO BE A PRODUCER, PINCH OUR CHEEKS 'TIL WE CRY Ouch! Eek! Ooh! Oh! Aah! Yes! HE WANTS TO BE A PRODUCER WITH A GREAT BIG CASTING COUCH! I WANNA BE... HE WANTS TO BE... I WANNA BE... HE WANTS TO BE... I WANNA BE THE GREATEST, GREATEST, AND MOST FABULOUS PRODUCER IN THE WORLD. HE WANTS TO BE A PRODUCER, HE WANTS TO DINE WITH A DUCHESS AND A DUKE. I JUST GOTTA BE A PRODUCER, DRINK CHAMPAGNE UNTIL I PUKE. DRINK CHAMPAGNE 'TIL HE PUKES! I WANNA BE A PRODUCER, SHOW THE WORLD JUST WHAT I'VE GOT I'M GONNA PUT ON SHOWS THAT WILL ENTHRALL 'EM... READ MY NAME IN WINCHELL'S COLUMN! I WANNA BE A PRODUCER 'CAUSE IT'S EVERYTHING I'M NOT. UNHAPPY... UNHAPPY... SO UNHAPPY... VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY... ...SAD. I WANNA BE A PRODUCER Hold everything! What am I doing here? Mr. Bialystock was right! There is a lot more to me than there is to me! Stop the world, I wanna get on! Bloom, where do you think you're going? Mr. Marks, I've got news for you. I quit! Here's my visor... my Dixon Ticonderoga number two pencil... and my big finish! I'M GONNA BE A PRODUCER, SOUND THE HORN AND BEAT THE DRUM. I'M GONNA BE A PRODUCER, LOOK OUT BROADWAY, HERE I COME!! BROADWAY, HERE HE COMES!