that particular time

my foundation was rocked my tried and true way to deal was to vanish my departures were old i stood in the room shaking in my boots at that particular time love had challenged me to stay at that particular moment i knew not to run away again that particular month i was ready to investigate with you at that particular time we thought a break would be good for four months we sat and vacillated we thought a small time apart would clear up the doubts that were abounding at that particular time love encouraged me to wait at that particular moment it helped me to be patient that particular month we needed time to marinate in what “us” meant at that particular time i've always wanted for you what you've wanted for yourself and yet i wanted to save us high water or hell and kept on ignoring the ambivalence you felt and in the meantime i lost myself in the meantime i lost myself i'm sorry i lost myself... i am you knew you needed more time time spent alone with no distraction you felt you needed to fly solo and high to define what you wanted at that particular time love encouraged me to leave at that particular moment i knew staying with you meant deserting me that particular month was harder than you'd believe but i still left at that particular time