Be Our Guest

Ma chere Mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight. And now, we invite you to relax. Let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents your dinner! Be our guest! Be our guest! Put our service to the test. Tie your napkin 'round your neck, cherie and we provide the rest. Soup du jour! Hot hors d'oeuvres! Why, we only live to serve. Try the grey stuff, it's delicious! Don't believe me? Ask the dishes! They can sing! They can dance! After all, Miss, this is France! And a dinner here is never second best. Go on, unfold your menu, take a glance, and then you'll be our guest, oui, our guest, be our guest! Beef ragout! Cheese souffle! Pie and pudding ”en flambe!” We'll prepare and serve with flair a culinary cabaret! You're alone and you're scared but the banquet's all prepared. No one's gloomy or complaing while the flatware's entertaining. We tell jokes. I do tricks with my fellow candle sticks. And it's all in perfect taste. That you can bet! Come on and lift your glass, you've won your own free pass to be our guest! If you're stressed, It's fine dining we suggest. Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Life is so unnerving for a servant who's not serving. He's not whole without a soul to wait up on. Ah, those good old days when we were useful. Suddenly, those good old days are gone. Ten years, we've been rusting, needing so much more than dusting. Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills. Most days, we just lay around the castle. Flabby, fat and lazy. You walked in, and oops a daisy! It's a guest! It's a guest! Sakes alive, well, I'll be blessed! Wine's been poured and thank the Lord I've had the napkins freshly pressed. With desert she'll want tea. And my dear, that's fine with me. While the cups do their soft shoeing, I'll be bubbling! I'll be brewing! I'll get warm, piping hot! Heven's sakes! Is that a spot? Clean it up! We want the company impressed! We've got a lot to do. Is it one lump or two for you, our guest. (She's our guest!) She's our guest! (She's our guest!) Be our guest! Be our guest! Our command is your request. It's ten years since we had anybody here, and we're obsessed. With your meal, with your ease, yes, indeed, we aim to please. While the candle light's still glowing let us help you, we'll keep going course by course, one by one! 'Til you shout, “Enough. I'm done!” Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest. Tonight you'll prop your feet up! But for now, let's eat up! Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Please, be our guest!...