why，or why not

To get my happiness I had done everything, but had done nothing to be blamed and accused of. The sound of footsteps became louder every day, Then I noticed the fact there was no time. I was a believer in life to be myself always, and was asking whether I would be alive. Give me a reason why not to adopt in this way, or judge me to be guilty of so many incurable sins. Tell me why, or why not. Complaining way too much, maybe I overlooked something fatal for me. The whole world was at a complete standstill, and I was in fetters, at the mercy of the mob. The silent warning became louder every day. Then I kept pretending not to hear. Its meaning had been in the eyes of beholder all along. It had grown dark before I found a sign. “Among the nonsense tragedies, what on earth you are looking for? You only have to be honest to yourself and your own fate." Tell me why, or why not. Complaining way too much, maybe I overlooked something fatal for me. There is nobody who knows there will be nobody. Except for me, all the world has gone mad. So what is forgiveness you are willing to withhold? What is the well-being you are willing to make? Now what? So what? Don't you come interrupt me, oh please, while I am interrupting myself.