You Can Call Me Al

A man walks down the street He says why am I soft in the middle now Why am I soft in the middle The rest of my life is so hard I need a photo-opportunity I want a shot at redemption Don't want to end up a cartoon In a cartoon graveyard Bonedigger Bonedigger Dogs in the moonlight Far away my well-lit door Mr. Beerbelly Beerbelly Get these mutts away from me You know I don't find this stuff amusing anymore If you'll be my bodyguard I can be your long lost pal I can call you Betty And Betty when you call me You can call me Al A man walks down the street He says why am I short of attention Got a short little span of attention And wo my nights are so long Where's my wife and family What if I die here Who'll be my role-model Now that my role-model is Gone Gone He ducked back down the alley With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl All along along There were incidents and accidents There were hints and allegations If you'll be my bodyguard I can be your long lost pal I can call you Betty And Betty when you call me You can call me Al Call me Al A man walks down the street It's a street in a strange world Maybe it's the Third World Maybe it's his first time around He doesn't speak the language He holds no currency He is a foreign man He is surrounded by the sound The sound Cattle in the marketplace Scatterlings and orphanages He looks around, around He sees angels in the architecture Spinning in infinity He says Amen! and Hallelujah! If you'll be my bodyguard I can be your long lost pal I can call you Betty And Betty when you call me You can call me Al Call me Al (If you'll be my bodyguard I can call you Betty) (If you'll be my bodyguard I can call you Betty)